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Hello, helpmepayformywedding readers!
Thankyouthankyouthankyou for your donations, comments, angry emails, happy emails… This experiment is causing so much unexpected hoopla and I’m loving it. Keep it coming!
To address some of the questions I’ve been getting – in the words of Usher… these are my confessions:
1. I have almost no money saved for my wedding. Or house, for that matter. Need both, but concentrating on the wedding here – FOCUS. Why do I have nothing saved? Well, because the proposal was a surprise for one thing. For another, I’ve spent the past year paying off all my debt – an accomplishment I’m quite proud of, thankyouverymuch. From what was that debt, you ask? Miscellaneous. Important things like student loans, and frivolous things like fabulous shoes and highlighting my hair. I admit it. I spent like a maniac on things I shouldn’t have. Which is why my hair is now my natural color and I’m in last season’s jeans. The itch to spend is coming back in a big way with these wedding plans, and that is why I’m planning ahead of time to stay OUT of debt. Hence, helpmepayformywedding. If you want. 🙂
2. We have not set a date yet.
3. I’m not a spoiled brat. If I were, Mommy and Daddy would be forking over the cash for my wedding. Since they’re not, I’m getting creative.
4. This is not a charity. It’s a fun little experiment that I’m shocked and thrilled is working. (Thankyouthankyouthankyou!) Helping out a sister is good karma. Clearly, I am aware that there are people out there with more urgent needs than my desire to throw an endlessly breathtaking wedding extravaganza. And if you’re grappling with the decision of donating a dollar to helpmepayformywedding or donating a dollar to a real charity for the needy, the choice is obvious. My guess is that the haters out there are donating to neither.
5. I had no idea what the 4 C’s of diamonds were until my fiance told me about my ring.
6. Yes, I’ve already chosen my bridesmaids and no, I will not be forcing them to buy overpriced gowns.
7. I’m not lazy. I work like everyone else and am saving my money, too. I don’t expect you to pay for my wedding, I’m just asking for help if you feel like giving it. If not, that’s fine, too.
8. I’ve already had over 1,000 visits to this blog and it’s been live for about 24 hours.
9. No, my fiance does not know I’ve started this website, but I’m thinking he’d find it to be pretty genius. I’m going to surprise him once I’m able to cover our wedding without going into debt.
10. Do I know that asking for money is a bit “tacky” as so many of have called it…. yes. But, desperate times call for desperate measures. And it’s not as if I’ll announce to my guests that I solicited donations to pay for their bacon wrapped scallops. Give me some credit, people.
Well, readers. I’m signing off for the evening but look forward to hearing from you. And to all those kind folks who donated – thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!
Wow. This blog has only been up for a few hours and I’ve received an overwhelming response! Thanks for reading!
To respond to many of your emails – Of course I don’t EXPECT other brides-to-be to fork over a dollar. And kudos to you for ponying up the cash yourselves. I’m just putting it out there. I was thinking this afternoon as I was contemplating how to achieve the wedding of my dreams that if some random blog readers happened upon my page and were feeling froggy, they might be moved to send a buck. I mean, it’s a dollar. Donate if you want to; don’t if you don’t want to.
I could certainly take a ride down to the local courthouse and exchange vows and save myself a lot of money, time, and aggravation. But I don’t want to – and with or without YOUR dollar, loving hater – I will make my wedding happen. It’s a tough economy and I’m nervous to drop a ton of cash on our wedding – I think everyone could use some help, no?
I do want a stunning wedding. I want it to be on a Saturday evening, not a Sunday morning. I want it to be in a gorgeous space. I want to pay for food that my guests will enjoy. Can I afford exactly what I want right this second? Nope. Hence, this experiment. Again, if you don’t want to donate, DON’T. But – it’s good karma. I’d totally donate a dollar to someone’s wedding fund. 🙂
For all the love mail and donations… THANK YOU!!! I’m honestly touched by the kindness and generosity of perfect strangers and can’t wait to be in a position to take my experiment to the next level by helping another bride pay for her dream wedding. Good vibes to all!
PS – Brides-to-be: What part of your wedding is an absolute priority? Dress? Flowers? What are you willing to skimp on? Any creative ideas to share?
I just got engaged! Awesome, right?
We are so thrilled to be getting hitched – we’ve been together for four years, so it’s definitely about that time. We are finally in the same city (after a years long bi-coastal relationship; I lived on the West Coast, my fiance on the East Coast), on the hunt for our first house, and enjoying a blissful engagement. What could be better?
What could be better is the cost of a wedding. I was totally discouraged and dismayed to discover the ghastly pricetag attached to my dream location. The “event minimum” is unspeakable – and it certainly doesn’t begin to cover the final cost of the affair. I still have to think about a dress, flowers, gifts for my bridesmaids, wedding bands, honeymoon, rehearsal dinner, photographer, music… It’s mind-boggling.
I’ve grappled with this dilemma for a few weeks now. Do I suck it up and get married somewhere cheaper? I suppose I could, but cheap still = $20,000 for most places around here. And I just can’t justify spending $20k on a wedding that I’m not in love with. I’d rather elope than waste that much cash on a hotel ballroom with ugly carpets, gold drapes and mediocre stuffed chicken. (Grimace).
One option to reduce the cost was a suggestion the salesperson at dream location offered – get married on a Sunday morning and serve brunch. Somehow, the stunning wedding I’ve imagined does not include toast or an omelette station. Ugh.
I’ve contemplated the things I can do to cut our cost. Dress – I will be checking out the discount gowns at David’s Bridal – loud and proud. Flowers – tea light candles (100 count bags are about $8 at Christmas Tree Shops) will look just as elegant as centerpieces. Invitations – I’m not all that artsy, but I’ll figure out some way to make these myself. Photographer – We have a friend who is a FANTASTIC photog… and I am thinking we’ll ask him to photograph our big day. Music – I will not think twice about loading up my iPod with all the songs we love and forgoing a DJ or band.
But when it comes to certain things – i.e. location and food, I simply can’t skimp. We have family and friends coming from all over to share this joyous occasion with us, and I’ll be damned if our guests are stuck politely forcing down dry halibut and canned green beans.
Hence, the idea for this website was born. If I could find some kind souls out there in internetland who would donate just $1 to my helpmepayformywedding fund, it may put us in the position to pay for our dream wedding without going completely broke.
My fiance and I are not bums. We both have careers and work hard. We spent last year paying off all our debt (with the exception of my car payment on my Toyota Corolla and the occasional credit card balance) and would really not prefer to start our marriage back in the hole. And, my grand scheme is to keep this website alive after the honeymoon so I can help other hard-working brides pay for the wedding of their dreams. What goes around comes around. 🙂
So if you stumble upon this site, please consider donating – and spread the word to your friends/enemies/relatives/local paper/everyone in your gmail contacts. It’s good karma.
PS – Please visit often to track my progress. Once I figure out how to use ‘widgets’ and all the other crazy features on this website, I’ll add a tracker thingie. Or a pie chart or something.