I just got engaged! Awesome, right?
We are so thrilled to be getting hitched – we’ve been together for four years, so it’s definitely about that time. We are finally in the same city (after a years long bi-coastal relationship; I lived on the West Coast, my fiance on the East Coast), on the hunt for our first house, and enjoying a blissful engagement. What could be better?
What could be better is the cost of a wedding. I was totally discouraged and dismayed to discover the ghastly pricetag attached to my dream location. The “event minimum” is unspeakable – and it certainly doesn’t begin to cover the final cost of the affair. I still have to think about a dress, flowers, gifts for my bridesmaids, wedding bands, honeymoon, rehearsal dinner, photographer, music… It’s mind-boggling.
I’ve grappled with this dilemma for a few weeks now. Do I suck it up and get married somewhere cheaper? I suppose I could, but cheap still = $20,000 for most places around here. And I just can’t justify spending $20k on a wedding that I’m not in love with. I’d rather elope than waste that much cash on a hotel ballroom with ugly carpets, gold drapes and mediocre stuffed chicken. (Grimace).
One option to reduce the cost was a suggestion the salesperson at dream location offered – get married on a Sunday morning and serve brunch. Somehow, the stunning wedding I’ve imagined does not include toast or an omelette station. Ugh.
I’ve contemplated the things I can do to cut our cost. Dress – I will be checking out the discount gowns at David’s Bridal – loud and proud. Flowers – tea light candles (100 count bags are about $8 at Christmas Tree Shops) will look just as elegant as centerpieces. Invitations – I’m not all that artsy, but I’ll figure out some way to make these myself. Photographer – We have a friend who is a FANTASTIC photog… and I am thinking we’ll ask him to photograph our big day. Music – I will not think twice about loading up my iPod with all the songs we love and forgoing a DJ or band.
But when it comes to certain things – i.e. location and food, I simply can’t skimp. We have family and friends coming from all over to share this joyous occasion with us, and I’ll be damned if our guests are stuck politely forcing down dry halibut and canned green beans.
Hence, the idea for this website was born. If I could find some kind souls out there in internetland who would donate just $1 to my helpmepayformywedding fund, it may put us in the position to pay for our dream wedding without going completely broke.
My fiance and I are not bums. We both have careers and work hard. We spent last year paying off all our debt (with the exception of my car payment on my Toyota Corolla and the occasional credit card balance) and would really not prefer to start our marriage back in the hole. And, my grand scheme is to keep this website alive after the honeymoon so I can help other hard-working brides pay for the wedding of their dreams. What goes around comes around. 
So if you stumble upon this site, please consider donating – and spread the word to your friends/enemies/relatives/local paper/everyone in your gmail contacts. It’s good karma.
PS – Please visit often to track my progress. Once I figure out how to use ‘widgets’ and all the other crazy features on this website, I’ll add a tracker thingie. Or a pie chart or something.
23 comments
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March 30, 2009 at 2:08 am
nina
First, get a job.
Second, a wedding costs less than 100 bucks at your local court house.
You aren’t entitled to an expensive wedding in case no one told you.
March 30, 2009 at 2:18 am
Amira
Wow, there is such thing called a courthouse. Get married there. If you can’t afford a big wedding, you don’t need a big wedding.
March 30, 2009 at 2:20 am
not given
This is BEYOND tacky…and I’m hoping that this site is a joke. If you cannot afford your dream wedding, then scale down your plans. Grow up and take some responsibility as opposed to looking for a handout. Ugh. I seriously hope no one donates to this…
March 30, 2009 at 2:29 am
another bride
you’ve got to be kidding
March 30, 2009 at 2:36 am
Jp
I’m sorry are you 12? If you and your fiance have jobs, how dare you ask strangers to pay for your wedding. Be an adult and save up for it yourself. I am getting married and I can pay for my wedding all by myself. I could pay for a wedding that costs twice as much as the one as I am planning because I am an adult who has managed to stay out of debt and save her own money. If you are mature enough to get married, you are mature enough to pay for it yourself even if you have to make compromises. This is what being an adult is all about.
March 30, 2009 at 2:42 am
Christy
Um. No. You don’t ask strangers for money for your wedding when we are in the worst economic crisis of our time. You either get a second job, wait until you can afford it, scale down, or go to the justice of the peace. You are not entitled to a wedding. I am in college, getting married in 39 days, and I paid for it all myself. And it did not cost anywhere near 20,000 dollars.
March 30, 2009 at 3:02 am
heels
You sound like a spoiled brat.
March 30, 2009 at 5:13 am
Aerin
Umm, where the hell are you getting married that $20K for just the venue is considered cheap? I really, really don’t think you’re looking hard enough.
If you want a fabulous, lavish wedding, then great! Go for it! Just pay for it your own damn self, like so many others have to do.
March 30, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Bride2be
Grow up and pay for your own wedding.
March 30, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Courtney Allison Brown
Congratulations on your engagement!
March 31, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Um…No « Practically Married
[...] Sara’s wedding. It looks like they had so much fun. And they definitely didn’t have dry halibut. But you can read her blog, and she’s honest– there were times that she drooled over [...]
April 5, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Cat Standish
Congrats … but here is my response. Pay for it yourself. Basically, you have the wedding you can afford. That’s what *I* am doing. We got engaged in August 2008, and we’re having our wedding September 2009. I’m paying for mine all by myself. Why should I help you pay for yours?
April 6, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Nina
can we say tasteless? You can have a beautiful wedding for less than 20k….I did as well as many others I am sure…you just seem to be an immature brat. The answer to your “problem” is simply wait to get married until you have enough to pay on your own or get married at the court house if it something you need to do right away. This website just shows how pathetic and tacky you are.
April 11, 2009 at 3:38 pm
lou
your selfishness in such a hard economic time is disgusting. people have placed so much importance on getting married in the PERFECT ceremony, PERFECT dress, PERFECT reception, followed by the PERFECT honeymoon. well guess what? it’s a single day that does not last. sure you have memories, but really, wouldn’t you have memories even if you got married at the courthouse and threw a backyard bbq type reception? at the end of each day, you have the same outcome: you’re married.
you are a prime example of exactly what is wrong with this country, and you exemplify the types of behaviors that got our country to where it is today. you should be ashamed of yourself.
April 13, 2009 at 7:29 am
gijanefinances
Wow! Congratulations on your engagement. I like your sense of humor–people do not have to be so mean-spirited. If you do not want to donate, then do not and keep it moving.
GI Jane
April 15, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Alice
Wow can we say classless, tacky and rude? Either spend the next 4 years saving your own money for your dream wedding or go get a second job on weekends. Or why not ask all your guests to pay admission to your wedding seeing as you feel completely entitled to ask strangers to cough up the dough you should feel equally comfortable asking your loved ones for the dough. Go to city hall, have a wedding you can afford and stop being such a selfish, arrogant, entitled spoiled brat. I would be ashamed if you were a friend or relation of mine. I don’t know how you look at yourself in the morning and do not feel burning shame for such greed.
May 6, 2009 at 7:26 am
How I Shed T h i r t y P o u n d s in Thirty Days
Hi, good post. I have been thinking about this topic,so thanks for blogging. I will certainly be subscribing to your posts. Keep up the good work
October 14, 2009 at 11:26 am
wow
I dont know if your married yet. but i understand your intentions was not to have people come at you with attitude. But understand that it was your choice to get married, and so its your responisbility. What is anyone getting out of making YOUR dream come true? Are they getting an invite, no. Ask your friends and family who love you, not strangers. I got married at the courthouse this year, and im having my wedding next year, because im saving for it. I already saved half my wedding cost and 2010 is not here yet, and you can do it too. Also its more rewarding when you pay for something yourself, no one can tell you what to do, and you won’t be in debt! All that dream wedding stuff is hype. and i hope this is a place that you have always wanted to get married at, because if not you need to get what you can afford, or wait and save for what you want! And lastley, the point is, at the end of the day, your married and so what, thats all. it wouldn’t matter if you can only afford to marry your fiance standing in a puddle of mudd, no matter what you do for your wedding its going to be special, Because its yours and no one elses
October 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm
broke bride-to-be
congrats on your wedding!
you’re right about your wedding being special no matter what.
xo
October 15, 2009 at 3:16 pm
carolina martinez
WOW you need to save up your money and pay for your own damn wedding. HOW TACKY!!!!!!!!!! whoever donates money to this crap is an idiot.
October 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm
broke bride-to-be
opinions are like… well, you know.
xo
October 23, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Katie
I think this way a fun idea and worth a shot! I dont think everyone needs to be so cranky about it. Its not as if you knocked on their front door begging for cash! Congrats on your engagement!! Hope you can have the wedding of your dreams!!
October 25, 2009 at 1:26 pm
broke bride-to-be
thanks katie! xo